Wednesday, December 18, 2013

On Being Single and Potentially Marrying


I really appreciated Mark Driscoll's sermon this week on being married and NOT being married.  I appreciated that he said that Jesus was NOT married.  I love marriage and all those that are participating in the beautiful union. However, I feel like people often feel rushed into it and they feel like being single is being secondary in society and in the church.

I was asked once, "Were you the third wheel?" when I was hanging out with some friends who were a couple.  To which my thought process wanted to rudely reply, "No I was the first wheel and they were the 2nd and 3rd wheel."

Someone who was engaged asked me if I was seeing anyone and upon my "no" response she could only say "oooh" in a high pitched voice feeling sorry for me.  In my confusion I said, "There is nothing wrong with me, I'm just not in a relationship. I'm fine." It was a shame that I had to explain to someone that because I was single I was in fact quite alright.

I do want to get married someday, but frankly there is a lot in my life I need to get together right now. I'm not about to go into detail on all of it.

For now, I am happy that the pastor of my church preached a sermon that spoke to single men and women alike and relieved the pressure of being married.  I'm still not sure that being married is the "Second most important decision you'll ever have to make." As Mark Driscoll so often states.  This is not criticism of his sermons, this is just me publicly wondering.

If you consider the first and 2nd Commandments that Jesus of Nazareth gives.  The first is to love God, the 2nd is to Love your neighbor as you would love yourself.  I would argue the 2nd most important decision you have to make in your life is how you ought to love your neighbor.  Not to diminish the importance or marriage or the beauty of the union that is a reflection of the trinity.  It is quite a wonderful sharpening journey I'm told.  Some would group loving neighbor into loving your spouse, which seems different to me since after marriage you are considered one flesh.

On that note, there is so much to do and see and be in this life.  (Frodo tells that to Sam)  There are people to help, there are people who have not heard the gospel.  There are mountains to climb.  I suppose I can do that while married, yes. But it is much easier to do what I can now, as a single person, for the kingdom, then when I have a wife and a family to ALSO take care of.  I hope to be able to use my time wisely in this life wisely for Jesus and for the kingdom.  God knows I have failed.  But he has been there to pick me up every step of the way.  For that I am thankful.

These are my current frames of thought.

And to my Engaged friends: A heartfelt Congratulations! May God bless your marriages with adventure and unending growth and newness.