Tuesday, March 01, 2011

How to Make the Most out of Your Insomnia in Socorro, NM

Last weekend I went to an Intervarsity conference with some cool people down in this small, but cultured podunk town called Socorro, literally in the heart of New Mexico. My Socorro friends often criticize Socorro for its lack of anything entertaining. As someone who had the privilege to experience Socorro (which literally means a plea for "help" when translated to English) at night, with my 20-100 vision, in all of its glory (Socorro), I have to beg to differ just this once.

It all started when my friend Marcus Mayfield and I were up till about 1:30 or 2 ish. Is that right? We we were talking with our friend Molly White (or something:) about nerdy things like the important things missing from the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings movies, such as Tom Bombadil. We finally managed to make it to the men's quarters of this church that we were retreating at, and I exhaled my asthmatic CO2 into an air mattress and lay down. I was extremely tired, and was hoping that my caffeine crash would kick in--it did not. Before I knew it, I was counting sheep and praying that God would cure Marcus' curious case of snoring. There was also someone else having a 3 in the morning DTR down the way on his cell phone. I finally got tired of this nonsense and got up, there had to be a better place to sleep! Surely!

I went outside to see if the kitchen door was open--it was not. I went back into the guys wing and decided to get my pillow and walk to my car. Maybe during the day it had trapped some heat or something--it did not. I turned it on for a good 15 minutes to heat it up, and even moved it to a darker part of the parking lot. I was happy and warm, so I turned off the car and cracked open the windows so I would not die of Carbon Monoxide poisoning. I tossed and turned, I counted sheep, before I knew it someone else was walking around the parking lot with a cough.

"Was I imagining this?" I thought. There was someone walking back and forth coughing. I decided to ignore it, I didn't want to look up and frighten anybody, so I tried again to go to sleep. Still someone coughing. I was angry at this point, "doesn't this idiot know I'm trying to sleep in here?!" I thought and sat up abruptly. I saw no one. After a while the cougher walked away and I never heard from him/her again. My stomach was hurting and I was hungry. I tried going back inside, but I was locked out. This was a terrible injustice that had been done to me. I could not sleep and I could not get inside a Christian building to get help.

"What is open in Socorro?" Walmart.

I knew that it was not far away. I drove over with my contacts locked up inside the church and decided to pick up some tums and snickers. Great combination right? Well forgive me, but it was 4 in the morning and my thinker was not working. There was hardly anybody on the roads (except for the street lights and there inability to be in focus for my eyes), and less people in walmart save for the one register that was open, register #1 and the friendly janitors and workers restocking the shelves. After paying, I walked out with my checkered pajamas and the XXL purple sweater that Marcus let me borrow because I had forgotten one over the weekend.

I drove back and tried to sleep again, but could not. At around 5 in the morning I was having day or night dreams about McDonalds breakfast. I thought about the money in my wallet and how I could afford such a beautiful morning delight. My wallet was gone though. I KNOW I payed for those tums which I had safely placed in the glove compartment the next time I had a tummy ache. So where was my wallet?

When I got back to walmart to check, there were two young people hanging out at the counter, doing nothing but there was nothing to do. I asked them for the wallet and the lady in the back office yelled at me, "What is your name?" I did not have to use my whole "Andres but my first name is Casiano" routine for this situation I thought. I just said stupidly "Casiano Salazar." And she handed me my wallet with the look that had "you're a moron" written all over it--I knew this information already though.

At McDonalds I did not want to appear to be a homeless guy even though my exterior and possibly my stench suggested otherwise. My clothes were too baggy, and my hair was in a tangled mess. I said "Hello!" as dignified as I could. And I pulled out my wallet and said, "I would like the # 1 with an extra sandwich." And trying harder I asked with all of the posture and poise I could muster, "How are you this morning?" He looked at me and replied, "just fine." I sat down in this newly refined coffee-shoppe-esque McDonalds and ate my breakfast like a hungry man after a sleepless night. Soon lots of high schoolers walked in. Then another bus of high schoolers walked in, there were about 30 or 40. Some were wearing FFA jackets. I pitied them.

I remembered the early FFA mornings I would have to endure in high school. I would have to go and do some silly competition like judge land or categorize beetles and butterflies properly. I realized that some of them were staring at my unhealthy demeanor and I wrapped up my breakfast and left. I was too shy to get coffee at the counter for fear of the FFA kids judging me too quickly. I wanted to put a sign on my chest that said, "I couldn't sleep last night and I am just visiting from the nearest city Albuquerque and we're staying at a Baptist church where there are people snoring and I got locked out!" but I couldn't. So I had to get my coffee at the drive through.

God showed me a beautiful sunrise that morning. I drove to the top of a hill and looked at it as I sipped my coffee, and I asked him, "What is the deal?"

By the time I got back to the church, I was there in time to help cook breakfast, so I did my best to.

My friend Ashley suggested that I drink black tea to wake up--I had to lead a bible study later that day. It really did help.

At the end of the night, I realized that what I experienced that night in Socorro was funny, lucky, silly, remarkable, coincidental, and catastrophic all at the same time. I'm glad it happened, though I wouldn't want to do it all over again.

-Andres